Finding Calm When Facing Uncertainty
I’ve never been great with uncertainty. My anxiety really likes things to be predictable and to make sense. Uncertainty often projects our worst case scenario into the future and prompts fear to rise up. We begin to react to that projected future as if it’s definitely going to happen, even though we have no way to predict that. This causes us to feel anxious, overwhelmed, and scared in the here-and-now.
Here are a few tips on how to manage uncertainty and reduce our fear:
Breathe: Fear activates our sympathetic nervous system. Our sympathetic nervous system is responsible for a lot of the systems in our body that occur without us having to think aobut them, including digestion, temperature regulation, heart rate, lung speed, and pupil dilation. Fear signals our body to be on guard, to defend ourselves, or get out of the situations. But unlike an actual here-and-now threat, our bodies are reacting to something that may or may not happen in the future. Taking intentional, deep breaths signals to the parasympathetic nervous system, the autonomic nervous system that promotes calm, that it’s okay to relax. My new favorite variation is taking a deep inhale and then exhaling through your mouth as if blowing through a straw slowly. 3-4 rounds will bring down that nervous feeling.
Ground: Since uncertainty often lives in the future, bing yourself back to the present by naming five things in the here-and-now. You can list items you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell. The simplest way to ground is just to notice your feet on the floor or the earth.
Control: Often uncertainty stems from something outside of what we can directly control. Taking out a piece of paper, draw a circle inside another circle. In the inside circle, make a list of what is within your control with this situation. In the outside circle, make a list of what you do not have control over. We only have agency or the ability to change the inside circle. Focus your energy there.
Acceptance: Coming to terms with uncertainty, can aid in reducing our suffering in the moment. Acceptance does not mean we absolutely love what is going on. It simply means we’re acknowledging reality for what it is. Our inner monologue might sound like, “Okay, the doctor said I won’t have the result back until tomorrow. What can I do to support myself today?”
Speak: Tell a trusted person about your fear. Sometimes speaking this fear out loud can help our brain process it and challenge it in new ways. A trusted person can also help us “reality test” this projected future and may be able to point out aspects we had not thought about.
Values: Reconnecting to what we value can help us reduce some of the fear for the future. This might mean connecting with friends and family, spending time on pleasant activities, or being creative. Coming back to what makes our life worth living in the here-and-now can refocus us.
What Ifs: A simple cognitive reframe can start to imagine a different future. Asking “what if that didn’t happen?” or “What if the opposite of my fear happens?” can help us bring in other possibilities of what the future might hold. Sometimes bringing in the more hopeful projection can reduce our fears.
To be human is to have uncertainty, but we can learn to respond with skills we develop rather than our gut reactions. Sometimes, uncertainty can feel so overwhelming that it’s hard for us to get out of it alone. If this is the case, it may be time to seek out a therapist to help. Therapy can be a great way to learn additional tools and tricks for managing the uncertainty in our lives.