Collective Trauma: Normalizing and supporting your mental health during Covid-19
We’re experiencing a collective trauma right now. Trauma is any distressing event that changes how we see ourselves, the world, and other people. If coming from a spiritual background, it can also change how we see God. This pandemic has left very few aspects of our lives untouched. It’s that undercurrent of stress that you may or may not be able to name. It shows up in our inner thoughts, in our relationships, and in our bodies. It changes how we feel and react, and affects all of us in both similar and unique ways.
Here are some of the most common reactions you may be experiencing during Covid-19 and some tips on how to manage them:
Anxiety
Perhaps prior to the pandemic you noticed anxiety occasionally, but you were managing it as best you could. Then, the shutdown happens and now you notice a lot more worry. You’re checking your bank account, your food, and your social media a lot more often. You notice your thoughts are racing and you’re trying to figure out solutions to problems you don’t have control over. You’re more jittery and it’s harder to concentrate.
Dr. Henry Cloud defines anxiety as the urge to control things that we can’t. Covid-19 has given us a lot that we can't control. Our brains want certainty and they will overthink themselves into trying to find a solution. To some extent all of us have experienced an increase in anxiety whether we notice it or not. Check in with your body. See where you’re holding tension and try to release that. Go for a walk. Talk to a friend. Try to find healthy ways to get the anxiety out.
Anger
Man, are you irritated! The smallest, stupidest thing can set you off, like that dish which isn’t supposed to be there or your child saying “Mom” one too many times. You lose it a lot more often. You want to yell or run away.
Anger is often an umbrella emotion; it covers a multitude of less noticeable emotions underneath. Maybe the anger is really sadness that this season didn’t turn out like you had hoped. Maybe it’s grief about the cancelled trip or the loss of financial security. Maybe it’s feelings of being scared that you won’t be able to cope much longer or your finances will be running out. When in a trauma reaction, we tend toward anger when it’s harder to feel our true emotions. Take some time to tune into what the actual feeling is and comfort that part of yourself.
Sadness or Depression
It’s hard to get out of bed. You have minimal energy. Everything just seems hard. Maybe you’ve never had these feelings before. Or maybe, before the pandemic, you had figured out your go to coping skills for sadness, but since everything started those don’t seem to be working. You’ve also noticed that you're starting to think really mean thoughts to yourself. Ugh!
We’re in a really difficult time right now. You’re not alone in your feelings of days blurring together, feelings of helplessness, and disappointment. We have legitimate things to be sad about. A practice such as self-compassion can be a good tool to express kindness toward ourselves in the midst of this.
Avoidance
You just want to sit down and zone out. One more show, one more picture, one more game. Anything that keeps you from thinking about what’s going on.
To some extent, avoidance can be a survival mechanism. Maybe we don’t have the space or emotional capacity to deal with what’s going on in that moment. That can be okay. However, if the avoidance is never addressed that concern will often manifest in anger or anxiety. Take some time to journal what you are truly thinking and feeling or discuss these with a trusted friend or family member.
Sleep Disturbances
You used to sleep fine or at least good enough, but now you lay awake for hours. Your brain won’t shut off. Once you get to bed, you’ve been having more and more anxiety dreams. You don’t wake up rested.
Anxiety usually chooses those moments when the body is trying to be still as a cue to work out all the problems of today and tomorrow. It can be really frustrating to feel physically and mentally tired, but still not be able to sleep. Before going to bed try limiting your electronics. Take a journal or piece of paper and write down all your concerns. Sometimes getting these out of your head, onto an external surface, can allow your mind the space it needs to rest.
This collective trauma has left us feeling uprooted. Normal has changed and we’re left with figuring out how to exist in what is happening now. It’s okay to feel a variety of emotions. These reactions are not uncommon, but everyone does experience them in their unique way. If you need support during this time, counseling can be a great space to process and build resilience. I’ve only been able to share some basic coping skills, but in counseling you can learn more, specific to your needs. For more information contact me here.